JOKE OF THE
Good for the Heart
A man had a terrible passion for
baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met
the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he
couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.
On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd
have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans
overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he
could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large
helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and
seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful
surprise for you for dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him
to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this
point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to
remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized
the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only
loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned
the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came
on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried
flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows
rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the
table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending
her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on
top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long,
she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she
removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and
horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his
surprise birthday party.